Dear Bundles of Joy,
So, we had a huge primary activity this morning that might have made me subconsciously stressed. I had a dream last night where I woke up in hysterics. Dad was worried but I was crying so hard that I could barely breathe, let alone answer him.
In my dream, I was at the Primary Activity. I was at my station that I was running and for some reason I had to move my station to another room. I took all my items and packed everything up to move. When I arrived at the other room, there was another group in there already. Miscommunication. I tried finding another room or area and for some reason an hour had passed. I felt defeated and why even set up when the kids were already doing the other activities, there was only 30 minutes left, and I felt like the other members of the presidency didn't care.
Then, I finally set up in the hall and this boy walked up to me. He kept saying my name and I asked him to "hold on". (This wasn't an actual kid in my primary, but in my dream I knew he was one of our primary kids.) He gets more frustrated that I am setting up my station instead of listening to him and so he comes closer to me. I look at him and he punches me right in the stomach!
With all the stress, feeling of defeat, and feeling neglected by the other presidency members, this threw me over the edge. It did hurt, but it was more my breaking point. I screamed and started bawling uncontrollably. I thought I would lose one of you.
Even though it was just a dream, I woke myself up BECAUSE I WAS ACTUALLY CRYING HYSTERICALLY IN REAL LIFE!!! Dad was very worried and was asking, "Brit, are you okay? What is wrong? Is everything okay? Are they (meaning you guys) okay? Tell me what's wrong". I could barely breathe and wanted to tell him it was a dream but all that came out was "I don't know. I'm fine".
IT WAS WERID!
I'm glad that it was only a dream, but it was a weird sensation to feel so violated from a dream to where I had to try really hard to calm myself back down.
We love you guys,
Mom and Dad
On this blog, I write letters to my future child(ren). While some might think that writing to a future child is illogical or crazy, I have found that through writing out my thoughts, I am able to cope with my infertility. It is also a great way to express my feelings regarding my faith in Jesus Christ and knowing that God is the ultimate creator and therefore everything is in His timing. It is a great way to keep a "journal" of sorts for my family and me.
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