Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Rollercoaster Ride...

Dear Bundle of Joy,

TUESDAY, MAY 17, 2016...

:) :) :) THIS IS THE FIRST POSITIVE PREGNANCY TEST THAT I HAVE EVER GOTTEN... IN MY LIFE!!! :) :) :) 

I of course started crying my eyes out... Below is the video I recorded when I took a peek at the stick for the first time... I was in disbelief.

I had to head off to work and couldn't believe what I saw! It finally happened. It's like I couldn't get too excited because now the fear of miscarriage is looming in the back of my head.

I went in to have a beta test done at Dr. Amols' office. They will check my levels and confirm pregnancy. They called me back and my HCG levels were around 357. They said this was very good and anything above a 5 meant I was pregnant. They wanted somethingI will go in again on Thursday to make sure that my levels have at least doubled... this is suggesting a live pregnancy that is progressing.

I can't believe you're here... now here's to hoping for a safe, healthy pregnancy! You could be here by the end of January if everything goes according to plan!

Wednesday, May 18, 2016- I was able to tell your dad tonight about me finding out that I was pregnant!!! It was a sight to see. I put a baby onesie as well as a "ticket" for "Baby Air" saying that the ticket was for the birth of our child... He wasn't noticing it on the kitchen table so I couldn't take it anymore so I said "Go look on the table!" He immediately said, "You're kidding, right?" I shook my head no and he immediately pulled me in to give me a big hug. He kept saying, "I love you, I love you, you're not kidding?" Warm tears started streaming down my face and I could tell that he was crying too because his body was trembling. He looked like the wind got knocked out of him.

When I pulled away, he said something that really showed me how excited he is for you to come. He said, "I don't think other people understand how exciting this is. They just get pregnant and find out quickly. They didn't have to go through all that you did". He also kept saying he was proud of me for doing this (i.e. all the doctor's appointments, shots, and heartache). It really meant a lot to me to hear that from him. Below is a picture of the onesie and "plane ticket".  We plan on sending these tickets to my parents and Jordan's parents. I made it in Keynote and just had them printed at Costco. We're probably going to wait until 8-12 weeks though... That would put us at around the middle of June or the middle of July... it's going to be soooo hard to keep this a secret! :)


Thursday, May 19, 2016: Today I had to go get another blood test again to confirm a healthy pregnancy. Since my HCG numbers were in the mid 300's, they were hoping for a number around 700. I was hoping for the best. I had a really bad migraine today, but not sickness of any kind. So, that could be good or bad. 

Friday, May 20, 2016: I received a call today saying that my numbers had declined. They were around 290. Not the news I wanted to hear. They want to bring me in on Sunday morning for another blood draw.

Sunday, May 22, 2016: I went to the office again today for another blood draw. I asked them what the outcomes could be and this is what they said: 

1) My numbers go down more: This would indicate an impending miscarriage. They said this option was safer than if my numbers went up.
2) My numbers go up: This would indicate a possible ectopic pregnancy (the egg attached to one of my fallopian tubes instead of my uterine wall). This could damage my tube and cause it to have to be removed, therefore unusable in the future.

So, my options were looking bleak. I left the office and held my composure until I shut my car door. A lump in my throat welled up, warm tears built up in my eyes, and finally a cry came out of my mouth. I couldn't believe that it had come to this: it finally happened; we got pregnant and now it was over already. Both options were devastating. I drove to church and tried to wipe away the evidence of me losing it in the car ride there. 

When I arrived, I grabbed Jordan as he walked out of Sacrament meeting and told him the news. I started crying again and he just held me. It was a sad moment. Completely opposite of what we felt last Wednesday night.

When I got home from church, I noticed that the doctor's office called and left me a message... they said it was good news and to give them a call. Good news? So,  I was thinking, "I guess my numbers dropped like they wanted". I called them back and no one answered. I was bummed because they might have all left for the day (on Sunday, they only do work for the time-sensitive patients in the morning and leave for the day since it is technically their day off). I left a message and about a half-hour later Dr. Amols gave me a call. He mentioned that my numbers came back today at over 2,000!!! This was so strange to go from 290 to over 2,000 that he had them re-run my blood work #2... he said there was a mistake and my blood work #2 was really at over 1,000!!! This meant that it was over double from my blood work #1.  He said he didn't know why the blood work came back so off and apparently it happened to someone else that day too. SO- apparently he said that everything looks fantastic. He mentioned that there could even be more than one possible because of how good the numbers are. :) :) :) :) :) So, we'll see. 

EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD AS OF RIGHT NOW. EVEN THOUGH THINGS CAN CHANGE QUICKLY, IM GRATEFUL FOR A LITTLE MORE TIME WITH MY BABY ( OR BABIES)!!!

Love, 
Your Mom

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